Metal Business Cards
Need a business card that stands out? Love having choices? Shut up, those questions were rhetorical! OF COURSE YOU DO! These are available in many colors and thicknesses. Only thing you cant get is lame ones so if you already have a boring card or none at all, I can help design your card and logo! The extra cost for this service is the same number as the amount of dry panties in the house when you whip your new card out.... 0, yeah you read that right.. a big m0ist zer0!
Economy Series
These speak volumes about you! Classy MF-er with style. Someone who maintains self control. The steady rock in peoples lives.
At 0.2mm, this size is sturdy yet flexible which makes the best choice for sliding the occasional door lock. They also file down easily to use as a makeshift knife. A slim profile card holder will fit around 25 of these in it which also makes a great choice for carrying more with you without added bulk.
Boss Status Series
Have you ever puked fireball into a 7-11 trash can? Wake up in a different zip code? Eat dinner with racoons on the roof of your house or said the phrase YOLO as a logical explanation for the decision you made at that moment? These my friends, these are the cards for you! Not afraid to go just a little bit extra once in a while.
They have the same bonus features as the economy line yet are sturdy enough to function as a shiv, with a little bit of electrtical tape its even a decent shank! Need a spare fuse? These cut easily with scissors or a knife and can safely carry around 20amps.
Go ahead, make that bad decision once in a while. Dont be afraid to meet with a new client, give your attorney your contact info or walk down that dark alley across town.. at 0.4mm you can easily fit a dozen of these in a slim card holder.
The Compensators!
Oh you know exactly what that means!
Need to compensate for something but big trucks or the smell of diesel not your thing? Got a 'Karen' cut and if you had any friends they would describe you as a bitch? Need something that lets people know you are in a higher tax bracket than them without saying a word? Maybe you just need something extra sturdy to wedge under a table leg to get that damned wobble out or need more than a 20amp service on your favorite electrical device...
If you even thought about saying yes to any of those then this.. this is the one for you! Yell that 'YES' at the top of your lungs and let the peasants know you proudly own your personality flaws and dont give a damn about the opinions of anyone with less than 0.8mm's of girth on their cards. Who cares that you cant even squeeze 10 into a slim card holder. You dont need to pass many out anyway since a MF'er should already know WHO THE F YOU ARE!!!
Bossman or BossMa'am.. just make that order, its gonna look sexy on you!